Brown Noise Alarm Clock works every time!

Magazine advert...

Magazine advert…

A new alarm clock, which is said to be – the best alarm clock ever, will soon be on sale!

Scientists made the alarm sound with Brown Noise, Professor Dean Garlin who invented the clock said “Brown Noise has proven to disturb the listeners stomach, it’s the perfect sound for an alarm clock as anyone listening to brown noise will need to go to the bathroom pretty quick!”

The machine was tested on two thousand “lazy” people, who admitted they are claiming benefits because, they can’t be bothered to get out of bed in the morning!

The subjects were first tested with the noisiest alarm clock on the market. Only five people got out the bed to turn it off!

When the new “Brown Noise” alarm clock was tested, ninety five percent of the people instantly jumped out of bed and ran to the toilet. As for the remaining five per cent – Sweat was seen pouring out their foreheads followed by moaning and fidgeting as they tried to fight the sound. Within thirty seconds they all dashed straight to the toilet!

The new clocks are so good – companies across the world are making it compulsory for their employees to use them – the night before work.

Mark swift who tested the alarm said “The alarm does work, but I had a terrible accident when I first used it! Our flat only has one toilet you see. The alarm went off and woke the whole house up!”

Professor Dean Garlin said “The clocks will be on sale within the next few months, but you can get the £100 device for free if your work is participating in the “Brown Noise Alarm Clock for Workers Scheme” so speak to your boss the next time you see them!”

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