A man from St. Ives was jailed today for admitting he had married seven wives. His seven wives were also jailed for animal cruelty.
David Sly from St. Ives said he had a thing for women who kept cats. In fact – he was so obsessed, he married seven women, who each owned hundreds of cats and kittens.
He was found out one day when he bumped into a holiday maker on his way home and told him all about it.
The holiday maker – now a witness said “I was staying at my two million pound second home on the cliff in St. Ives you see, when I met David. He was a nice chap, smelt a bit pissy though! I was very puzzled when he started telling me about his life. He said he had seven wives who had seven sacks full of cats and kittens or something! I thought blimey, all those kits, cats, sacks, and wives! Their house must stink of Cat Gas! I knew there was something not quite right, so I contacted the Police.”
The Police and the Cat Protection Officers later raided the premises and confirmed there were cats with kittens being kept in sacks and they were all arrested.
When Sly and his seven wives entered the courtroom, the Judge made a strange request and asked if all the court room windows could be opened – to let in some air.
Just before he sentenced Sly, the Judge said “Entering into another marriage whilst still being legally married is Bigamy and is a criminal offence! Having seven wives with all those cats clearly shows that, you Sly, have some sort of O.C.D. I think a psychiatric hospital would be a good start, but under the circumstances – you must be jailed. For the seven wives. Keeping cats and kittens in sacks like that, is no doubt – animal cruelty. You all must serve an individual jail term of….. seven years!”