Redruth will be home to the UK’s first ever space station. Work is currently underway to transform the old Redruth Brewery site – into a rocket launch pad. It was originally planned to build the site at Newquay Airport, but after complaints from the locals who said “people in Redruth never get anything good” the government are now building in Redruth.
Mark Pascoe, who is a Cornish Astronaut from St. Day said “I’m so glad we are building the space station in Redruth. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t like leaving Redruth very often, apart from going to space of course! But now, when I’ve got to fly to the moon, it’s only a ten minute drive from my house! So I’ll never be late for work again. Although, I better not get too pissed the night before, hey!”
Some residents are unhappy about the plans. Michael Knight of Rose Row said “Bleddy rockets going off down the brewery! It’s noisy enough with the bloody racket that club makes every week! We thought there was going to be a KFC put in! When are we going to get a KFC in Redruth! We’ve been waiting years!”
The Redruth Town Committee “RTC” are delighted with the new space station. Francis Bunt from the RTC said “Over the last ten years the town has been at the forefront of all towns! We are the only town in the UK that has a clock that lights up at night! We’ve got the best statues in the town, a Cinema, Kebab shops and now – we have our very own space station! It’s no doubt, Redruth is the best town in the world.”
The space station will be ready by next year and the RTC will be holding a competition for the residents of Redruth. The winner will stand in mission control and press the rocket launch button on the first mission to the moon! More information will be posted on Cornish News!