Writers are currently working on “Cornwall The Musical” which is based on a true story about two rival, pregnant, unemployed drug dealers from Camborne and Redruth.
They spend their whole life hating each other, until one day they meet by chance at the dole office, whilst signing on and fall madly in love. They are forced to keep their relationship secret as their dads – Freddy from Camborne and Malcolm from Redruth are notoriously the hardest men in their town. If anyone found out about the ladies relationship; Freddy and Malcolm would both lose their back up, which they both desperately needed whilst they beat up lone, helpless men in the pub.
Mercedes and Cortina decide to move away up country. But Freddy, Cortinas dad see’s their Council House exchange advert in the local off-licence window. In a fit of rage Freddy blows his giro on eight litres of cheap cider and smokes two hundred B&H, before going on the rampage and punching a shop window in the town and finally getting arrested.
All feels lost until the families finally meet up on a TV chat show. The show starts as a complete disaster and they all end up scrapping on stage. Finally, after a few words from the host. They finally realise they are all a bunch of scrote bags and all make friends and live happily ever after.
The musical will be shown in theatres across Cornwall and will include songs;
– You stole my dope
– He’s a dirty dirty dirty little man.
– The dole have stopped my giro.
– Ain’t got no food, but I got an iphone.
– Them eyebrows are the shit!
– Where did you get them black leggings too?
– Alright r e? How’s yer cock and balls.
If all goes to plan the musical will be played out across the whole of Cornwall by next year.