UFO experts were in Camborne Town yesterday investigating claims that Aliens were seen running away from the town.
The incident happened during the town’s busiest period – about 1pm on Saturday afternoon.
Joe Seymore saw the Aliens heading towards the town. He said “I noticed a group of four people walking down the street and didn’t think much of it. When I got closer, I noticed they had funny shaped heads. I still didn’t think nothing of it. Then when I got right next to them, I noticed one of them had a gun, a bit like one of those super soaker water pistols. I looked really close at them; they had big bulbos heads, grey skin and big oval eyes. At first I thought; “I wish they bleddy teenagers would stop smoking weed!” I listened in and they were speaking really weird. It was like talking, but it sounded like the old internet noise; screeching and distorting noises! I looked up in the sky and saw a spaceship – like you see on TV! I thought; “there is no way these teenage pot heads could afford a spaceship like that!” That’s when I realized they were Aliens from another planet and I think they were up to no good because they had a gun!”
Joe hid in the graveyard opposite the Cornish Cooker Pasty Shop. He then called the police on their non urgent number 101. He said “I called 101, as I didn’t want to cause a fuss. I sat behind a big tree in the graveyard, then I heard the aliens talking, but it sounded like they were panicking. They were running really fast. They got to the car park in the Pasty Shop and the spaceship picked them up!”
Owner of Jowes Pasty shop in the town square said “I was in the shop when all of a sudden I heard this noise, I looked out the door and there was Aliens in the square, four of the buggers. I thought, chroist, this town’s getting worse. Everyone was looking at them. Then this teenage girl, wearing black leggings and painted on eyebrows tried taking a selfie with them. She was hangin’ though, like mutton dressed as pig! They took one look at her, then all looked at each other, turned round and ran away, gone – quicker than your grans giro! One thing’s for sure though – we won’t be seeing they silly buggers again. “PAHHH!” You should of seen them, they thought they were some boy’s mind. Even if they did think they could take over the town, they would have to get past the Taxi Twins first! Alien twats!”
UFO expert David Davids from Penryn said “It’s unusual for anything to happen in Camborne and we think they may have searched on the internet and noticed some of the locals and thought they were also aliens. Sadly it’s given earth a bad name and we doubt any life beyond earth will dare contact us ever again!”
If you have ever seen a UFO or have pictures then please send them to Cornish News.