It’s official – Cornwall is the supermarket capital of the World!

After recent plans were passed for more supermarkets in Cornwall. The Duchy now has more supermarkets per square mile than anywhere else in the world!

The Council seems to be very proud of this achievement. Robin Blind, head of the “supermarkets everywhere, like seagulls.” committee doesn’t want to stop there! He said “With all these bleddy emmets moving down from up Country, we need as many supermarkets as possible! People may think it’s a bit excessive to have more supermarkets than anywhere in the world, but the reality is, we need them! Remember the old song that goes “Cornish Men are Fishermen and Cornish Men are Miners too.” The song ends with “When all the fish and tin have gone, what’s a Cornish boy to do? Well, we’ve answered that problem ain’t we! Cornish Men can stack Bananas now, or sit on a Checkout, or mooch round a car park pushing trolleys about! Everyone seems to be moaning about all these supermarkets, but let’s be honest, would a Cornishman prefer to be out on a boat in the pissing down with rain? Or stuck down a mine? Or, would they prefer to be sat at a checkout, nice and warm, earning more money? I know what I’d choose!”

It is thought that Cornwall will soon have enough supermarkets, that every house will have their own private store, with free parking and a filling station.

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