A man from Camborne was rushed to hospital this morning, after a sex game with a Pasty went wrong!
Richard Tucker of Pendarves Street, Camborne called the emergency services at 7am, the recorded message said “Help! Help! I think I’ve burnt me cock off, I accidentally slipped and my cock fell into my Pasty! Please help, It’s burning like hell! Help!”
An Ambulance crew was rushed to the scene, the driver said “When we arrived, Mr. Tucker was standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips and a Large Steak Pasty dangling from his pants! It was the strangest thing we’ve ever seen! We didn’t want to remove the Pasty right away, in case it caused any further damage. So we walked him to the Ambulance with the Pasty still attached. Luckily, there were only a few of his neighbours outside, they had come out to take photos for their Facebook!”
The Ambulance crew updated Cornish News, they said “Richard is on the mend! We’ve had to move him from one ward, as a cheeky teenager started calling him Pasty Shagger! But he’s been moved and will hopefully make a full recovery.”