Giant dung beetles are heading to Cornwall this summer, after they have mistaken peoples bullshitting for real bullshit!
It is believed the insects have been attracted to the Duchy, where there has been a lot of rumours circulating the area! These include; shops closing – to be replaced by bus stations, weekend markets closing, a Cornish celebrity NOT being Cornish.
Dung beetle expert Dave Man said “There seems to be a lot of bullshit going around lately and it’s attracted the beetles! It all started just over ten years ago when someone said a market near Camborne was closing! It’s been ten years now and it’s still there! It’s obvious that there is a certain type of person who has nothing else better to do than spread crap! Well, sadly that’s about to backfire, as the giant dung beetles will track them down!”
It is not confirmed, but the Cornish News was told by a mate that the beetles came from Devon and can grow up to six feet high!
Dave added “The best thing you can do is not feed them any bullshit. That way they’ll just leave you alone! As for the people that have already been spreading the crap! Sadly, you are screwed!”