A baked bean company went bankrupt this morning, after the government announced the new “Peoples Gas Tax”. Immediately after the announcement, shares in baked bean manufacturers crashed, resulting in one company going bust.
It will effect everyone in the U.K. apart from women and the rich, as they don’t fart!
The government will squeeze every last penny out of the UK and hope to clear the deficit within the next two years!
Chancellor George Douche said “Breaking wind is a filthy habit and people must pay the price! Methane only makes a bigger hole in the ozone layer and is the main cause of global warming. If you don’t want to be left with a huge tax bill, I suggest you eat a healthier diet and stay away from them beans!”
Ex bean factory worker, Barry Brown said “I can’t believe it, we were at work this morning and all of a sudden, the boss called us to the office! He said the company had gone bust! The government comes up with these ideas, but they never follow through with a proper plan! Now I’m unemployed and if I accidentally fart, I will have to pay!”
Nutritionist David Andrews said “If you want to fart less, you must avoid various foods and drinks. Cut down on beans, starchy food, carbonated drinks and try not to swallow lots of air when you eat!”
The tax will be coming into force this Christmas. A time when everyone overindulges and ends up with terrible wind!
Will you be effected by the new tax? If so, please let us know at the Cornish News Facebook Page.