Camborne to become an independent country

cornish news camborneCamborne will soon become an independent nation, after locals voted to leave the UK.

Last week, down at the Royal Legion, a crowd of 15 people voted for independence.

Freddy Bunt, from Weeth Lane said “We were all in the club talking about Cornwall becoming independant. We thought most people weren’t interested, so we said “Bugger it!” We’ll vote for Camborne town to become its own independent Country!”

The U.K. government passed the decision within 2 hours. Adam Hole from Troon said “The English Prime Minister granted our wish as quickly as possible. It was like he didn’t want Camborne to be part of the U.K.

The council have now started fencing around town, starting at Mc. Donalds Pool.

People will now need a passport to enter and leave the Country.

It is thought they will legalise cannabis for their main source of revenue and chancellor Malcolm Richards has calculated that Camborne will be one of the richest countries in the world. He said “We were concerned about where our money would come from, so we spoke to a few people in town hanging round the square, drinking cider. We asked, “What could Camborne produce, in order to sustain a healthy economy?” One of the men swiftly replied “Weed!” It seemed a bit off at first, but when we looked at the figures, Camborne will be more well off than USA!”

Camborne leaving Cornwall and the U.K. has caused quite a stir. It is rumored when other towns in Cornwall heard about how rich Camborne will be, they asked to join in! Freddy Bunt said “We were back in the Legion looking at how much money could be made from weed, when Mark James uncle called from Penzance. Well, Marks uncle Craig, knows the truck brothers down Penzance, heard of they ‘av ‘e? You knaw! The truck brothers, Kevin and Ross Truck, Jimmy’s boys. Got that second hand shop opposite the Corner to Corner Pasty shop! You knaw! Anyway, when Mark told Craig, Craig told the truck brothers and they were jumping! They wanted to get Penzance to merge and call Penzance “West Camborne.” Thing is though, nobody wanted anything to do with Camborne before, but now, everyone wants to be part of it! Bollocks to them, who’s laughing now! When we get our first batch of money, we’re going to put the dodgems in the middle of the square, with a burger wagon and candy floss machine, all for free!”

Not everyone in Camborne has backed the move! Shirley Prisk who lives up behind the Red Jackets said “Selling weed legally! What? That’s alright for some people, but the old dealers are going to be put out of business! Then all they’ll have to live on is their dole money each week! Bleddy stupid!”

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