Camborne town’s water fountain to be replaced by pasty statue.

pasty statue

A 1 million pound pasty statue will replace Camborne town’s water fountain.

Local building firm, Brian’s Builders have been commissioned to carry out the work. Company director, Brian said, “I usually do odd jobs, like fixing a wall or doing a bit of gardening. I’ve never built a pasty before, but I’ve eaten loads! I’m a Philps man myself, but often go Prima in Scorrier. I’ve started sculpting the pasty in my back garden, It’s so big, I’ll have to leave the back doors of my van open when I drive it up town!”

The 15 foot brass statue will not only represent Cornwalls favourite food, it has been designed to deter vandals by being too steep and too slippery for drunk people to climb.

Sheila Sandoe, head of the Camborne Pasty Statue Committee said, “We started planning this project last year and bought all the different pasties in the town. We then ate all the pasties and tried to decide which ones we liked most. We couldn’t decide, so we got them all again and eventually agreed that we liked Rowes the most. So, the statue is a Rowes pasty, but you could call it a Philps or Warrens or whatever you wanted really I guess it doesn’t matter. At Christmas, instead of a tree we’re going to put a few lights on the pasty it will look really nice!”

Work will begin next month and is expected to be complete by Christmas. The current fountain statue will be relocated at the Rosewarne car park next to the toilets.

 

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Penlee Quarry in Cornwall to become worlds first multi-story car boot sale.

Cornwall Council have been granted 25 million pounds to turn the disused quarry into a car boot sale complex.

car boot world pz

 

 

 

 

The beauty spot, situated between Penzance and Newlyn will become the car boot sale capital of the world, with the multi-story site selling everything from old fishing rods, cassette tapes and even push bikes. There will also be dedicated spots for burger vans, selling burger and chips and instant coffee in polystyrene cups.

The new plans have created a buzz in the town, local, Mark Rogers said, “Every Wednesday, I do go Rosudgeon car boot. Sometimes it’s a real pain in the ass to get down there, especially if it’s raining or there’s lots of bleddy tourists around it do do my head in! Not anymore, I can walk down Penlee, I heard they’re installing a punch bag I bet I can get the high score!”

Not everyone is happy with the new plans, Karen Dickinson of Newlyn said, “What a waste of money! I think they should turn it into a Poundland or B&M, we don’t have enough of them down here!”

Work is expected to start in the summer and be finished by next year.

Cornish music night cancelled when DJ traps testicles in toilet door

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A Cornish music night was cancelled last night when the DJ accidentally caught his testicles in a toilet door.

The incident happened at the Clipper Bar in Camborne around 8.30pm. Landlord, James Watson saw the incident, he said “Steve was just starting the night, he’d only played a few songs and nipped off to the toilet. The song finished and he wasn’t back. People started cheering because the music had stopped, but all we could hear was Steve shouting “Help!” from the toilet. I rushed down there and he was stood with his chest up to the corner of the toilet cubicle and his balls wedged in the gap of the door, it looked really painful. I don’t know how he ended up like that”

The Ambulance and Fire Brigade were called and Steve, who doesn’t want to give his full name, was cut out of the toilet and carried through the pub face down with his testicles poking out the bottom of the door.

DJ Steve, who is from Camborne, said “I was nipping to the toilet, I knew the song was about to finish but I really needed a pee. I heard the song finish, I quickly turned round and as I twisted, I slipped falling face first into the toilet door hinge. I couldn’t do it again if I tried!”

Steve is making a full recovery in hospital.