A new topless bar is coming to Camborne called – Turnips

A new topless bar is opening in Camborne next week called – Turnips.

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The fully licensed bar will be opening in Commercial Street next to USA Chicken and will specialise in cider cocktails, bar snacks and will even have a pool table.

Camborne’s One Direction tribute band – Wrong Direction, will be performing on the opening night. The event is expected to be a sell out show, packing the venue to it’s full capacity of 19 people. There will also be a performance from the Pengegon Male Voice Choir and Penponds Brass Band.

Bar owner, David Rowe is really excited about his new venture, he said “I’ve got the finest blokes and maids to work topless behind the bar! Each day, we’ll be holding a meat raffle and happy hour will run from 8am till noon. I thought I would keep the bar proper Cornish and that’s why I called it Turnips! Everyone’s welcome, apart from anyone on Pubwatch, they ain’t allowed in!”

Turnips will open next Tuesday and tickets to the event are £35 each, which includes a free Snakebite and Black and packet of Scampi Fries at the bar.

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DVLA GOES INTO MELTDOWN WHEN IT TRIES TO CLAMP CAMBORNE’S UNTAXED CARS.

The DVLA went into meltdown yesterday when it tried  clamp Camborne’s untaxed motor vehicles.

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The operation was shut down just half an hour from starting when they ran out of wheel clamps.

DVLA boss, Julian Jury, who was leading the exercise said, “We arrived at the west side of Camborne at 10am, by 10.30am we had used up all 100 clamps, we’d only made it down one street I’ve never seen anything like it!”

The Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency will be returning to the town when they can afford more clamps. They remind all drivers that their cars must have road tax or they  could be taken off the road and crushed.