Pastyland theme park to open next year.

A theme park dedicated to pasties will be open next year near Redruth.

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Pastyland is currently under construction, opposite Prima Bakeries pasty shop in Scorrier. The 1000 acre site will be the biggest theme park in Cornwall, featuring rides and attractions – all pasty themed.

Site owner – Trevor Ferris came up with the idea whilst eating a pasty at Portreath, he said “I was eating a pasty down Portreath harbour one day and I dropped the bugger. It slid down the harbour slipway and splashed into the water. It reminded me of the log flume down Flambards. I was a bit upset because I’d lost my dinner, but I suddenly realised Cornwall needed a pasty theme park!”

Cornish born, Trevor, who’s known to “have a bob or two” drew up plans right away and submitted them to the council. He added, “It’s gonna be some theme park mind. We’ve got a pasty log flume, pasty roller coaster – even pasty shaped toilets and if you don’t like pasties, we’ve got sausage roll shaped go karts! It really is amazing!

It’s believed the project will create 500 new jobs and bring in a million pound a year to the local area.

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Camborne man fears he will have to get a job after Brexit.

A Camborne man was deeply concerned when he realised that, after Brexit he might have to work for a living.

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Mark Patrick, of Rose Cottage Camborne had an epiphany whilst watching the TV show – Loose Women, he said “I was watching Loose Women on the telly and they were talking about Brexit and how it would affect us. It suddenly dawned on me, if there were no foreign workers I might have to get a job. I ain’t worked a day in my life and I’m not planning on starting anytime soon!

I thought, there’s only one way I can solve this and went out and bought a lottery ticket! I’m hoping to win the lottery on Saturday, problem solved!”

Mark isn’t the only one concerned, he believes close friends – Nick and Poorly Paul will have to work also!

 

 

Coffee shop to be built on Brown Willy

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Plans to build a coffee shop on top of Brown Willy have been given the go ahead.

The project was thought up by the Council who believe it will be perfect for walkers who need a rest-bite after scaling the hill. Coffee shop owner – Keith Richards from Bugle, said “This will be my second coffee shop, I have one already in Bugle. We will be open seven days a week and at weekends, will have live entertainment on top of the hill. I can see people coming from miles!”

Not everyone is happy with the plans, Margaret Bishop from Bodmin, said “What a load of old tripe! If I want a coffee, I have to walk up Brown Willy? No thank you, I’m 107 years old, I can’t be bothered with that, I’ll just go to the pub instead!”

Work has already begun, but with the councils track record, it’s believed the shop won’t be open until early 2030.