Ford Capri pulled from lake still had Pirate FM sticker in the window

Cornish News pirate fmA swimmer has found a Ford Capri at the bottom of a Nottinghamshire lake . Darren Warren made the discovery when he was swimming and spotted purple object under water.

He soon realised the purple object was in fact a Pirate FM 102 car sticker. It was stuck to the rear window of a Ford Capri.

The radio station sticker was proof that the car was originally from Cornwall.

The police believe the “Poor Man’s Sports Car” wasn’t stolen, but actually dumped by a panicked Cornish Man, who tried to leave Cornwall!

PC Kevin, of the Nottingham police force said “For some unknown reason, a Cornishman has obviously ventured out of Cornwall and crossed the border into England. He’s freaked  out and crashed the car into the lake. We think he then ran 310 miles back home. He’s probably still in the Duchy to this day!”

Further investigation concluded, the car originated from Camborne, as the vehicle had no tax or MOT.

The Nottinghamshire County Council say the car will be scrapped, but they are keeping the Pirate FM sticker.

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Surgeons left pasty inside man’s body.

Pasty found in body. Mark was getting pasty sweats.

Pasty found in body. Mark was getting pasty sweats.

Surgeons in Cornwall had to perform an emergency operation today, to remove a pasty left behind in a patient’s body.

The incident happened at the Kernow Hospital, in Praze an Beeble, during a minor surgical procedure.

Mark Smith, 35 from Falmouth, was left ‘feeling funny’ after his operation 1 month ago. He said “It was so strange, after the operation I had a funny feeling in my stomach. I went home and felt so uncomfortable. I was also getting ‘Pasty sweats’. The strange thing was, I hadn’t eaten a pasty. I also had heartburn and pasty burps! I thought I was possessed or something!”

A month later the pasty was spotted during a routine checkup back at the hospital. Dr. Stephen Tonkin said “This is very embarrassing for us! We think one of the staff bought a pasty for dinner and didn’t get a chance to eat it! They must have taken it into the operating theatre by mistake. We won’t be investigating this matter, as losing your pasty is punishment enough!”

Mark has made a full recovery and is said to be feeling much better!

This isn’t the first time a food item has been found inside a person. Last month, a man from Camborne was sent to casualty after he got a sausage roll stuck up his bum.

By Alex Lee, Steve Heller

New second hand sex shop in Redruth has had its ups and downs.

Lewis sells second hand adult toys.

Lewis sells second hand adult toys.

A Redruth man has opened a second hand sex shop in the middle of town! Lewis Moon from Redruth opened Gash Convertors just over a month ago after leaving the butcher shop where he worked in Camborne.

The 26 year old said “It’s really hard to get a job these days, especially in Redruth and Camborne! I had a little bit of spare money and thought about opening a shop! I wanted a shop that nobody had ever thought of. So I opened – a second hand sex shop! I know it doesn’t float everyone’s boat, but surprisingly the shop has hit the spot for a lot of people in the town!”

The shop lets you trade in old adult toys for cash and has been so successful – Lewis has set up a little food counter in the corner, selling pasties and sausage rolls!

Lewis said “I can’t believe how successful it’s been and we’ve sold out of most things! We’ve had our ups and downs though! There was a bit of an embarrassing incident on the first day we opened. We sell a lot of E-Cigarettes and about two hours of opening, a customer I’d served earlier in the day came storming back into the shop. He slammed a box down on the counter and shouted “I bought this E-Cigarette from you this morning and I haven’t been able to get it to work!” I picked up the box and said “I’m really sorry sir, there’s been a mistake! That’s not an E-Cigarette – you’ve been trying to smoke a twelve inch Robo Cock! It was very awkward!”

Lewis hopes to expand his new business and eventually trade at Pool Market.

The shop is open Monday to Saturday 10am – 5pm and is situated opposite Iceland, where the fruit and veg shop use to be.

by Steve Heller and Lewis Moon