Man changes name to Susan so his “Ex girlfriend” tattoo doesn’t look stupid.

Derek was fed up with people asking about his tattoo

Derek was fed up with people asking about his tattoo

A man from Redruth has changed his name to Susan, so his old tattoo doesn’t look stupid.

Susan Smith, originally called Derek from Green Lane, said “I was 16 when I met Susan. We only went out for a month, but I thought she was the one. I got her name tattooed on my arm, but when she saw it, she left me.”

Derek AKA Susan, has been single ever since and was so fed up of people asking about his tattoo, he changed his name by Deed Poll to Susan. He said “Every time someone asked me about my Susan tattoo, it drove me crazy! Telling everyone the same story for the last 20 years hasn’t been fun! I have heard you can get them removed, with a laser or something, but that is all the way up Plymouth! I don’t like to leave Redruth if I can help it. One day I was thinking, what could I do to stop people asking about my bleddy tattoo? Then suddenly, it dawned on me! I went online and changed my name to Susan Smith. Now, when people ask me ‘Who’s Susan?’ I just say ‘Me!’ ”

Susans name change has been welcomed by friends, he said “All my family and friends call me the boy name sue, like in the Johnny Cash song! I’m even thinking about becoming a Johnny Cash tribute act and doing a live show down the Rumons Club!”

Susan hopes he will find a new girlfriend, he finally said “I’m looking for a new partner and if I find one called Susan, who knows, maybe I’ll change my name back to Derek!”

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Is 15 year old Harley the tallest Cornishman?

15 years old and 6ft5 tall with mum Donna

15 years old and 6ft5 tall with mum Donna

Cornish News was contacted this week by Donna from Penzance. She told us about her 15 year old son Harley. Harley is not your average teenager, he stands at 6ft5 and is possibly the tallest Cornishman.

Mum Donna claims his size is all down to being brought up on pasties from an early age, she said “Start em young! 1 yr old and fed on Pasties! He’s a Pastyfarian at heart and has been eating them since he was a baby! Pasties make a louster of a boy! Ansome! Fed on they pasties!”

Eating pasties at 1 years old.

Eating pasties at 1 years old.

Cornish people are known for being short. A famous Cornish comedian, who stands at 6ft3, was once told he couldn’t be Cornish, because he was too tall! There are also a lot of old houses in Cornwall, with low entrances. They can be seen all over the Duchy, including the main street of St. Ives.

Cornish News editor Steve Heller, who stands at a whopping 5ft5, is one of the taller members of his family. He didn’t quite believe Harleys story! Replying to Donnas comment on Facebook, he said “Cornish? Too tall to be Cornish, surely?” Which met a quick reply from Harleys friend, who said “Deffo, still growing. He’s still at school and as Cornish as they come!” His mum also replied “Never too tall to be Cornish! Proper bloodline, over 3 generations on both sides and fed on they pasties, they make em as wide, as they do high!”

Cornish News always believed that the Kernow King was the tallest Cornishman, but after contacting him, on his Australian tour, he confirmed he is 6ft3.

Could Harley be the tallest Cornishman?

If you know a proper Cornish man or woman who is taller, we would love to hear from you! Just contact Steve Heller on the Cornish News Facebook page.

12 year old Harley with Angela who is 5ft4

12 year old Harley with Angela who is 5ft4

New second hand sex shop in Redruth has had its ups and downs.

Lewis sells second hand adult toys.

Lewis sells second hand adult toys.

A Redruth man has opened a second hand sex shop in the middle of town! Lewis Moon from Redruth opened Gash Convertors just over a month ago after leaving the butcher shop where he worked in Camborne.

The 26 year old said “It’s really hard to get a job these days, especially in Redruth and Camborne! I had a little bit of spare money and thought about opening a shop! I wanted a shop that nobody had ever thought of. So I opened – a second hand sex shop! I know it doesn’t float everyone’s boat, but surprisingly the shop has hit the spot for a lot of people in the town!”

The shop lets you trade in old adult toys for cash and has been so successful – Lewis has set up a little food counter in the corner, selling pasties and sausage rolls!

Lewis said “I can’t believe how successful it’s been and we’ve sold out of most things! We’ve had our ups and downs though! There was a bit of an embarrassing incident on the first day we opened. We sell a lot of E-Cigarettes and about two hours of opening, a customer I’d served earlier in the day came storming back into the shop. He slammed a box down on the counter and shouted “I bought this E-Cigarette from you this morning and I haven’t been able to get it to work!” I picked up the box and said “I’m really sorry sir, there’s been a mistake! That’s not an E-Cigarette – you’ve been trying to smoke a twelve inch Robo Cock! It was very awkward!”

Lewis hopes to expand his new business and eventually trade at Pool Market.

The shop is open Monday to Saturday 10am – 5pm and is situated opposite Iceland, where the fruit and veg shop use to be.

by Steve Heller and Lewis Moon