Camborne to become Cornwall’s number one tourist destination!

Camborne Town

Camborne Town

Cornish tourist experts believe Camborne will be the hottest holiday destination this summer – when new hotels will be built in the town! Keith Curnow – head of the Tourist Committee, said “The town has a lot of potential and we really think it’s going to kick off in Camborne this summer! Holiday makers have been to Newquay, St. Ives and Falmouth but nobody has explored Camborne! Now it’s got a couple of Hotels and even a Costa – Camborne will be where it’s at this year!”

The town saw it’s first influx of visitors today, as they arrived for the Easter weekend. Mr. Smith from Up-Country said “Our neighbours Mr. and Mrs. Jones are off to St. Ives this summer! Ha!! We told them we were going to St. Ives. If we said we were heading to Camborne, they would have gone to Redruth or something to get one up on us! We’re really ahead of our game here! Camborne is a virgin to us tourists! We didn’t even know it existed until last year when we accidently took the wrong turning off the A30. We’ve visited all the main attractions in the town and yesterday had a nice pint in a pub called the Clipper! It was lovely! We were told by a lovely man who was decorated with tattoos from head to toe that there is a boutique in the town that sold jackets with prints of different types of animals, like wolves and cats. We can’t wait for that!”

Not everyone is happy about Cambornes new found fame! One local, who didn’t want to be named, made a comment to the Cornish News. Unfortunately, he spoke so fast and with such a deep Cornish accent, all we could understand him saying was “fu**ing” in-between every other word. We do believe he was extremely angry though, as he said the whole statement in one five minute long sentence and by the end he was bright red with a vein popping out his head!

It is believed if the town see’s a growth in visitors, they will be using the extra income to hire Jeremy Clarkson to turn on this years Christmas lights!